A Tribute to Fathers

“Honey, I just put gas in the truck.”  I winced, knowing what was coming. My husband didn’t disappoint me. “Robin Anne, you didn’t!” He was mad and with just cause. I had just put gasoline in our diesel truck. “What do you want me to do?” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Jim?” He growled with frustration. “I don’t know! I’m an hour away from home!” I sensed his tension mounting through the phone (imagine that!).

“Woman, what were you thinking?” Okay, that made me mad. I felt myself beginning to get defensive. For Pete’s sake, it wasn’t like I meant to put gas in the truck! He was acting like I had set out to ruin his day! Instantly, several things came to mind in reply, but hey, I haven’t been married for twenty-two years for nothing. With a rare show of wisdom, I kept my mouth shut.

Now, I want you to go back and reread the above conversation. Do you realize there are two different conversations taking place? All the men reading this are focused on the truck and with a sad shake of their head are moaning in sympathy for my husband. All the ladies are focused on the fact that he called me "woman" and what they would do if their husband ever talked to them that way! Am I close? 

Do you see the difference? Jim was thinking logically. He not only was concerned about the truck and the damage done to the motor, but also the fact that I was at a truck stop with our two daughters and he was an hour away. Who was the closest available brother that could come get us? What vehicle was I going to drive while the truck was getting worked on? How much would it cost to get the truck fixed?

I on the other hand, was thinking emotionally. I got caught up in his tone of voice and his obvious anger at my apparent irresponsibility. My thoughts had left the circumstances and were now focused on his treatment of me in this situation.

My point? Men think logically and in the future tense. God designed them that way. By nature, men are protectors, providers, and problem solvers and God placed them in a leadership role in the home for that reason. Men are driven to protect and provide for their families based on the future. All problem solving is sub-consciously done with that goal in mind.

Women, on the other hand, think with their emotions and in the present tense. Why? The word "help meet" means to surround and protect. In other words, our basic nature nurtures those around us. That fact requires functioning in the here and now.

Before I go any further with this, I want to share two stories from my growing up years. After I graduated, I decided I was moving out. But my Dad had a rule: If you move out you don’t come back, not for any reason. His philosophy was this: If you think you’re capable of being on your own, have at it. But when you left, it was for good, so you better be good and sure you were ready for the real world. Whether or not he was right or wrong was irrelevant. I knew the man was serious and there was no backing up in him where that was concerned. He had five younger children to raise and he wasn’t playing moving games. Once you’re out, you’re out.

My Mom knew it too. She told me later that she was in God’s face about me leaving. She was torn between my Dad and me. But it’s funny, I never knew it. She stood with my Dad as if the whole idea originated with her. Thank God, I did not know how she truly felt, because I would have worked her with it had I known. Instead I didn’t move out until I married.

This second story is actually one of my personal favorites. One night my one brother, (who wishes to remain anonymous, but Chris and Nick want you to know it wasn’t them) had gotten in trouble with Mom and she had sent him upstairs to write three hundred “I will not…” sentences. After writing about ten of them he grabbed his tablet and went to the top of the staircase. Flinging his tablet down the steps he hollered belligerently, “I write enough sentences at school, I am not writing them here!”

Suddenly, he heard the click of Dad’s recliner closing. Dad was in the house? Panic spiraled through him as Dad marched up the steps. He never said a word, he didn’t have to.  Grabbing him by the shirt collar, Dad marched him down the stairs. When they got to the bottom, Dad grabbed him by the back of the neck and made him bend over and pick up the notebook.

“You will apologize to your mother and then you’ll write double what she told you to do in the first place! Got it?” (That last statement wasn’t really a question, it was a command. Ever get one of those?)

My Mom didn’t have the revelation of being in Christ back then. The thing she did understand was that where there was unity God commanded a blessing and my Dad, right or wrong, was the God-ordained leader of her home. She pressed hard to allow him to be first a man and then leader of his home.

Today as a mom, I have to make a decision everyday to walk in Christ. Every day I am faced with opportunities to either allow my husband to lead our home or try to take the reins myself. As I look around in society today, I am alarmed at the amount of mama’s boys out there. Ladies, it’s time to back off and let our men be men. Allow them to lead the way they were created to!

This article is a tribute to the Fathers in a round about way. By addressing the mothers it is my hope to make your job as Dad, protector, provider and problem-solver a little easier. A hard job can be made lighter when you have the right kind of support.

Girls, get behind your man and out of his way. Then stand back and watch your children blossom. It works, I should know. My oldest daughter is a third generation proof of the process.
 

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