Training God's Way

Note: This article refers to the bowls video resource. To view the video in a separate window, please click here.

A three-fold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:8-12).

Cord/strings:

Emotional, physical ties to our children. They are easily made, easily broken, and not so quickly repaired. Emotional ties are broken through ridicule, criticism, passiveness, etc.

Spiritual ties are broken through parental neglect of their own relationship with Christ, but expecting their children to be spiritual. Physical ties are broken through abuse, lack of training and discipline, wanting children’s behavior to be one way when the parents is the opposite, etc.

Repairing strings/cord results in trust.

We are new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:16,17), therefore every circumstance needs to be viewed from that perspective. Don’t “know” your children after the flesh! Your flesh is dead and you are now hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3). Ask, “What does Holy Spirit want me to do?” not “What do I or they think?”

Children need to know that parents can be trusted with their innermost thoughts and dreams without ridicule, criticism, etc. Children need to know they have boundaries; that their parents will control what they cannot control and will continue to do so until they themselves are able to discern the voice of the Spirit and physically act on it (deny the flesh themselves). Children need parents to be consistent in these areas. All training and discipline are counterproductive when one, or all of the these areas are out of order.

“He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24).

Why use the rod?

God said to (Proverbs 19:18; 22:15; 23:13,14; 29:15; 29:17).

Love for the child will motivate you. True love gives no thought to personal gain or loss.

It is a spiritual principle, opposite the world’s view. We don’t battle against flesh and blood. Your child’s flesh will be influenced and trained by spirit forces. They need to know the choices: good or bad, life or death.

It is the character of God (Hebrews 12:6-8, 10, 11).

Using the rod frees your children from themselves, making them happy.

How to apply the rod.

Be calm, confident, and firm. Tell your child how many spanks they are going to get. Example: “I am going to give you five spanks. If you move, I will have to add three more. Ready, one…” Go slowly. Remember that spankings don’t have to be as hard when they are consistently applied. Your calm dignity will set the stage to make it more effective.* Never use your hand – it represents a personally offended parent to the child.

NEVER train or discipline in anger. If you wait until you are angry, you have waited too long and the discipline will produce the exact opposite of the desired behavior. 

“The rod and reproof give wisdom” (Proverbs 29:15).

Teach children who they are in Christ as early as possible. It is the new and living way. Start very simply. Show them the Bowls and how God loved them so much that He created a secret hiding place for them to keep them safe from the enemy. Using the Bowls, show them what happens when they get “out” of their position in Christ (or walking in the flesh. God never sees us out of our position). Then show them that through discipline Dad/Mom are rescuing them by putting them back in their position. Explain the danger of being out of their position. Allow them to “show” you how they are now safe from the enemy by using the Bowls. Teach them how to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh. Explain to them they are part of the kingdom of God and with the Bowls, show them they are in charge of that kingdom. Point out to them with love when they are yielding to the flesh or the Spirit. 

Reproof should always be accompanied with correction.

Reproof is wisdom and “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”

(Proverbs 9:10). The rod mixed with reproof gives children a solid foundation in the wisdom of God before they even know He exists.

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